You have been assimilated.

SUNDAY, JULY 18, 2010


You have been assimilated.

I realized after writing the Wednesday, July 14, 2010 blog “Fact or Fiction?” blog on how mom came up with the names of the kids that I was already one of the Borg. Being born into a Catholic family insured that collective consciousness.

One benefit is that at least a couple of the Borg are reading the blog. In my global consciousness I feel they need to stay attached. All the prodding cannot hurt readership either and in my mind’s eye I see my sisters rolling on the floor clutching their heads like Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Not only are we interconnected by genetics we also share other things from our parents and ancestors like our names.

Margaret wrote me a response to my email inquiry about her sainthood. It turns out she always had a middle name and it is Elizabeth. This is probably why we call her MiMi all the time and proof of my aging memory. She wrote: “Mom had a grandmother and great grandmother named Margaret and Elizabeth.” Not to mention our great aunt Elizabeth.
Rita typed on her virtual keyboard: “I am not sure of the exact story concerning my naming process. One was that I was named for mom's cousin, Rita. Another, probably a teasing of Dad, was that his favorite actress was Rita Hayworth, and with my semi-auburn colored hair, I reminded him of her and should be named for her. The second story is less likely than the first to me but it does sound like a cute tease and is possible, just not too probable, I think.” I did not know I was related to anyone with the last name ‘Sent from my iPad’.

Joanne ‘Proof of her Borgness’ chimed in on each name: “One of mom's favorite cousins was her cousin Rita Potter in CT. I believe Rita is named for her.

Margaret was named for the saint's day on which she was born. The two names Margaret and Elizabeth are both family names as well.

Mom's story regarding my own name was not especially consistent. I think it is hard to deny that I might be named for Grandma Philbrick whose name was Ernestina Johanna Hoffman, aka "Tiny" to her buds. Many cultures also use the same initial letter, so the J of my name could be for Jane, but mom never told me that. Jews, for example, believe it is bad luck to name a baby for someone, so they use the same initial letter to honor the grandparent, parent, or family member they intend to honor.” (Jane was Rosie’s mom.)

“Michael, mom often said, was named for Michael the Archangel. That's not bad. I heard that story many times, too many to count. I am not certain, but I think Dad took the name Michael when he converted.

Steven Douglas was the famous orator who ran against Lincoln. Mom did have a very good background in history. Did he spell his name the same way?

These are the versions of naming stories I heard as a child. Doubtless, there are many stories in the naked city. Good luck with rounding them all up.”

Her second note was: “The Rita "Lauren" is more probably for Lawrence, the baby who died a few days after birth than for G-pa. My assumption was always that the baby was named for G-pa, which probably came before the two of them went to war.” I had completely forgotten that connection.

Being part of the collective has helped because part of my brain that is not stored on my computer is supported by the family Borg. There are problems associated with the hive… Rita’s iPad is becoming an electronic body part. Joanne has her Kindle connected thru an umbilical cord. My laptop is permanently attached between my knees and waist. My nieces and nephews stick their hands into the tumbling weightless black diamond with the hole in it. They are magically converted into Droids, Borgs with one of their mechanical hands wrapped around their smartphone.


This may lead to some horrible dreams.


Lt. Commander Data pipes in: The Borg are extremely computer-dependent. A systems failure will destroy them… Population approximately nine billion, all Borg.

Steve: I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to be an only child.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: A few years ago I was captured by the Borg. I was assimilated into their collective. I was part of their hive mind. Every piece of my individuality erased. I was part of them.

Admiral Satie: Tell me, Captain, have you completely recovered from your experience with the Borg?
Borg Queen: Are you offering yourself to us?

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Offering myself...? That's it, I remember now! It wasn't enough that you assimilate me... I had to give myself freely to the Borg. To you!

Borg Queen: You flatter yourself! I've overseen the assimilation of countless millions. You were no different!

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: You're lying. You wanted more than just another Borg drone. You wanted a human being with a mind of his own, who could bridge the gulf between humanity and the Borg! You wanted a counterpart! But I resisted. I fought you.

Borg Queen: You can't begin to imagine the life you denied yourself.

Steve: Jean-Luc must have been an only child.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I've accessed a Borg neuroprocessor and I've discovered what they're trying to do. They're transforming the deflector dish into an interplexing beacon.

Lieutenant Hawk: "Interplexing"?

Joanne ‘Proof of her Borgness’: Didn’t you review your vocabulary words?

Nieces and Nephews: We were too busy texting to get to them. MEH

Steve: Couldn’t you at least wait until after desert?

Nieces and Nephews: Each Texting madly like synchronized swimmers: KPC AMAP

Joanne ‘Proof of her Borgness’: Give them ten minutes and they can master the most complicated piece of electronics… but give them ten vocabulary words…

Nieces and Nephews: Each Texting madly like synchronized swimmers: RME (Rolling my eyes)

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: It's a subspace transmitter. If they activate the beacon, they'll be able to establish a link with the Borg living in this century.

Dr. Beverly Crusher: But in the 21st century, the Borg are still in the Delta quadrant.

Rita Lauren: Bev, where the heck have you been? The Borg are everywhere. Don’t you own an iPad yet? Why don't you Google it?

Saint MiMi: I want a DroidX too but I am on the wrong network. I heard there are none left anyway.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: They'll send reinforcements. Humanity will be an easy target. Attack the Earth in the past to assimilate the future.

Michael the Archangel: We shall drive the Borg to the Netherworld! I will not let their technology rule my life.

Steve: I really want an iTouch with the same capabilities as the White iPhone4, except available and I wouldn’t have to worry about an antenna problem if I only used WiFi.
Rita Lauren: My iPad does not have a camera and I don’t miss it. His most Royal Borgness Steve Jobs told me I did not need a camera because I could use my iPhone if I did.
The Borg Queen Rosie: Locutus...

Captain Jean-Luc Picard: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.

Michael the Archangel: AWHFY

DakotaDawg: Do they make smartphones in Hochdeutsch?.
Nieces and Nephews: Each Texting madly like synchronized swimmers: LNT
DakotaDawg: 14AA41 BBFN CYT

The Borg Queen Rosie: You have been assimilated.

© 07.18.2010 steven d philbrick SR+ DakotaDawg
POSTED BY SRPLUS AT 7:25 AM 0 COMMENTS