Grandma had Blue Hair.

THURSDAY, JULY 22, 2010


Grandma had Blue Hair.
I went to Atlanta to visit my aunt and uncle. It was a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. My cousins came to the homestead and those that had familied up went home with spouses and kids after dinner was consumed as soon as it was polite.

The main dinner table conversation was my younger cousin’s shockingly purple hair. Not just a shade of purple... every hair on her head was scandalously ablaze. Jeannie was taller than either my aunt or uncle but that was not the reason they did not see eye to eye on this.

Although she had not lived at home for years and had never taken any guff, in the glow of the 'cool white' fluorescent kitchen lights she just sat there as they dished it out. My favorite uncle mentioned how purple her hair was as if this was some kind of news to her. It wasn’t.

At dinner Jim mentioned the shade at least five times; after dinner that number was squared. Jeannie decided not to joust and asked me to go to a club with her.


Except for the ultraviolet fluorescent electromagnetic radiation highlighting people’s dandruff; the only other light was the small beam from the flashlight of the bouncer checking ID’s. As UV eradicated all the microorganisms I wasn’t sure if it was giving me sunburn or making me sterile. I really did not want to know. Jeannie’s aura of independence glowered back in a bright luminous amethyst. If was as if she had turned a geode inside out and put it on like a retro swim cap with dark Crayola vivid violet rubber flowers.

Everything glowed including the trash on the concrete floor. Nothing compared to Jeannie's hair. It filled the room and she knew everyone in the dump. This was one of Hotlanta's scorching hot spots.

She asked me if I wanted a drink and surprised me when she shelled out for it after having paid my cover. We cooled off near the bar with internally illuminated gin and tonics. I hollered out for the second time: "Thanx!"


Rednecks in tight jeans and western boots stared. Their boyfriends did too. Phosphorescent wannaBee's persistently checked her out.

I hollered to her that her hair was a real hit. She replied simply giving me the exaggerated Rolleyes: “Especially with dad.”


After a couple of songs I gathered enough stamina to holler over the band again. “Yup.”


“I don’t get what the big deal is!” she bellowed back.

Then she popped off one of those once in a lifetime quotes:
“Grandma had blue hair and she wasn’t even in the band!”

And the girl with the amethyst hair, even though she danced till dawn for them; she wasn’t in the band either.
© 07.22.2010 steven d philbrick SR+ DakotaDawg
POSTED BY SRPLUS AT 12:07 PM